“Carcinisation (American English: carcinization) is a form of convergent evolution in which non-crab crustaceans evolve a crab-like body plan. The term was introduced into evolutionary biology by L. A. Borradaile, who described it as “the many attempts of Nature to evolve a crab”. -Patsy A. McLaughlin; Rafael Lemaitre (1997)
Crabs, therefore are the peak of evolution (because Darwin was right about everything). Ergaux, we, as the Apex species of this planet must prove our mettle against this evolutionary menace. Our superior Encephalic abilities duly employed to combat against this zenith of nature.
Sun Tzu said “Know the enemy and know yourself in a hundred battles you will never be in peril. When you are ignorant of the enemy but know yourself, your chances of winning or losing are equal. If ignorant both of your enemy and of yourself, you are certain in every battle to be in peril.” Therefore let us come to know our enemy.
Spider Crab: Do you hate spiders? Well you’re done for what is a spider was covered in thick Chitin and also the 12ft long. Yes, you heard that right, this terrifying monstrosity can grow over three meters, and weigh nearly 40lbs, it’s claws able to inflict significant damage due to their long limbs. So how do you defeat this armored extendo-fist? It’s joints. the long spindly joints, although armored would leave it vulnerable to attacks that cripple. So there’s the point of exploitation.
King Crab: This is the ultimate opponent? The Royalty of crabs? Wrong. This adversary is merely the penultimate gladiator of the crab race. The main challenge is this Crustacean is spines covering the entire body. making any direct attacks dangerous. To best this combatant, a weapon is required.
Coconut Crab: Now, what is the greatest threat to our society? That’s right, Robbery. Threats to Capitalism is a threat to us all, so this kleptomaniacal, eclectic crab is the true apex of the crab species. The largest terrestrial arthropod, are known to steal shiny objects right out trash cans. These malignant menaces are known to eat Carrion and have a set of claws powerful enough to crack open coconuts. Which means your bones are fair game. You must take the utmost caution when facing this adversary, do not show weakness, or allow them the opportunity to steal your life, or split you like a coconut, as it can fall from the top of palm trees after cracking it’s coconut prey, and there have been incidents of this killing humans. They have the potential, and as humans we’re aware. nothing is more terrifying than potential.
Good luck.